Being Broke

Being broke is not easy…but it certainly has a lot of lessons to teach one.

 

 

Being broke taught me that I am not my money.

My character and being is not defined by the things I can buy. Initially, this was very difficult to swallow. When one is used to paying one’s way for everything, it can be quite humbling, when one no longer can. I had to learn WHO I am with or without money.

I had to learn to rely on my humanity for everything. I couldn’t pay for things and make them go away.

 

Being broke taught me how to ask for help. Having money does not give you an opportunity to be vulnerable. Without money you physically feel weak and overwhelmed. I learnt how to put down my pride and ASK.

Life happens in cycles; being unable to ask for help when you need it, is self sabotage. You dig yourself deeper into the hole when you don’t ask for help. Feeling alone and helpless is more destructive than just asking for help. I learnt that asking for help increases trust in relationships.

 

Being broke taught me how to make use of my friend and family network. It taught me who was unwilling to see me suffer. I learnt that people felt good about being able to help. I learnt that getting help does not take anything away from the person, but can actually add. I learnt that the people we walk with, need to know that we are all human beings with problems. When I stopped being an angry superwoman…it made my friends relate to me. Stepping off my pedestal of perfection made my life much easier.

 

Being broke taught me how to speak honestly about money. It taught me how to confront money. Being broke taught me how to manipulate R200 into a week’s groceries. When money is constantly streaming in, one does not really focus on it much.

Being broke taught me that money is manifested by a certain energy one projects. Being broke taught me that, being broke is not only about the external environment, but it is also about your internal mind state. Depression does not attract wealth, it repels it.

The trickiest lesson I had to learn was keeping my thoughts in a state of wealth. When you see no money, it’s easy to panic and block your flow of income. I had to learn to see money even when there was no money…..and relax.

 

Being broke taught me that life goes on and something ALWAYS comes up. It taught me how to manifest my own solutions day by day. I learnt how to appreciate the real things in life, the sun, rains and relationships. Being broke showed me how ungrateful I had been for the air that I breathe and the opportunity to live in such wonderful times. I learn who I am and what I was born to do.

 

I saw that the impact I make on the world has nothing to do with my bank balance.

 

Being broke is not a friendly space…..but it will teach you life, like a TRUE friend would.

 

To Comrade Mam Winnie Mandela…..

Mama, I write this letter as a ‘we’ for I recognise that I represent so many voices which have not been given a chance to express our hearts and views.

 

First of all mama, we apologise for all the times we believed white media when they trashed your name and legacy. We are the 80’s generation and by that time the white media machine was functioning at its optimum. With the state of emergency, media was vigilant in making you a villain. Even now, post the apartheid era, you have not been given your rightful place in media and in society.

 

They have used you as the scapegoat for the war.

Whichever way you look at it, when Stompie Seipei died, this country was at war. Many soldiers are lost in war. Many women, men and children are lost at war. This is why nobody wants war. It is a dark and ugly space for humanity.

We saw the TRC and we are STILL wondering why only you are being singled out?

In a room full of apartheid murderers who don’t even know the names of their MULTIPLE victims.

Only you are in the position to tell us what really happened. This story which has been written for you, about you has holes in it. We don’t understand why another man would go to prison and yet you continue to be crucified.

 

We are fortunate enough to have seen a short video clip of your wrath on soldiers and have heard stories of the community calling on you when the armies entered their home spaces. We have heard of you walking into war zones with no body guards and standing defiantly to protect us. These are not the stories we see in the media.

 

You were one of the greatest heroes of the struggle. Your sense of community and heart for people is an inspiring tale, and one that all our children should hear and know. Your valiant stride whenever you faced hardship has been inspiring to watch.

The sense of grace with which you spent a lifetime in forced silence, for things you left unsaid has been awe inspiring.

This country could have been greater President Mandela.

 

When white owned media puts your private affairs in the public, generally we don’t read those articles. It’s never been our business how you handle your personal affairs and it never will be.

 

We just want to say thank you mama for teaching us resilience, for showing us strength and for always being ready to fight for us. We, as a nation have always known that when ‘after school is after school…’ we call on Winnie Mandela.

 

Grandmother, Mother, Aunt, Sister of this nation, during the struggle…you were our number 1 ‘Guri Guri Girl!’ When it was time to go to war, men hid behind you.

 

That, is a sacrifice we will NEVER forget…..

 

 

Happy Birthday

With Love

The Youth (and the nation) of 2015

To Comrade Mam Winnie Mandela

Mama, I write this letter as a ‘we’ for I recognise that I represent so many voices which have not been given a chance to express our hearts and views.

 

First of all mama, we apologise for all the times we believed white media when they trashed your name and legacy. We are the 80’s generation and by that time the white media machine was functioning at its optimum. With the state of emergency, media was vigilant in making you a villain. Even now, post the apartheid era, you have not been given your rightful place in media and in society.

 

They have used you as the scapegoat for the war.

Whichever way you look at it, when Stompie Seipei died, this country was at war. Many soldiers are lost in war. Many women, men and children are lost at war. This is why nobody wants war. It is a dark and ugly space for humanity.

We saw the TRC and we are STILL wondering why only you are being singled out?

In a room full of apartheid murderers who don’t even know the names of their MULTIPLE victims.

Only you are in the position to tell us what really happened. This story which has been written for you, about you has holes in it. We don’t understand why another man would go to prison and yet you continue to be crucified.

 

We are fortunate enough to have seen a short video clip of your wrath on soldiers and have heard stories of the community calling on you when the armies entered their home spaces. We have heard of you walking into war zones with no body guards and standing defiantly to protect us. These are not the stories we see in the media.

 

You were one of the greatest heroes of the struggle. Your sense of community and heart for people is an inspiring tale, and one that all our children should hear and know. Your valiant stride whenever you faced hardship has been inspiring to watch.

The sense of grace with which you spent a lifetime in forced silence, for things you left unsaid has been awe inspiring.

This country could have been greater President Mandela.

 

When white owned media puts your private affairs in the public, generally we don’t read those articles. It’s never been our business how you handle your personal affairs and it never will be.

 

We just want to say thank you mama for teaching us resilience, for showing us strength and for always being ready to fight for us. We, as a nation have always known that when ‘after school is after school…’ we call on Winnie Mandela.

 

Grandmother, Mother, Aunt, Sister of this nation, during the struggle…you were our number 1 ‘Guri Guri Girl!’ When it was time to go to war, men hid behind you.

 

That, is a sacrifice we will NEVER forget…..

 

 

Happy Birthday

With Love

The Youth (and the nation) of 2015

Rainbow Nation Hobos

My people surprise me sometimes. Today we are upset about #IAmStellenbosch but yesterday we were fine with calling Heritage Day, ‘Braai Day.’

 

When you undermine your own story, you give permission to others to do the same.

 

Now that you have taught white people that you are okay with white supremacy…you have an issue with it? Oh.

 

The failure of African people to own and celebrate their identity is the direct cause of young Africans calling themselves ‘non whites.’ African people have not set their own standards of being African, and they play along with the white supremacist standard which has been normalised.

 

A hobo is a person who has nothing and dresses up in whatever clothes they get given. We have no land and we dress ourselves up in other people’s identities. We are Rainbow Nation Hobos.

We beg and grovel for our salvation. We wear other people’s clothes, not because we cannot afford our own…..but because we are ashamed of ourselves.

 

#IAmStellenbosch is what happens when you do not set your boundaries and your own standards.

If African children call themselves ‘non whites,’ it means being white is a standard for them. African children do not grow in the wilderness. They are socialised in our homes, schools and by our media. It means the African child has absolutely no idea what the struggle was fought for. It means that the African adult fought for the ‘struggle to be white!’

 

This is why black consciousness should be a subject in every grade. The African child and adult need re-education.

If South Africa has become a breeding ground for white supremacy campaigns, it means it is time for Africans to be vigilant about reclaiming our identity. It means that our people are lost, and our African intellectuals need to draw up maps, so our people can find their way.

 

Ma-Afrika when you were so casual ignoring ‘Heritage Day,’ the ONE day which encourages you to dig into the history of who you are, a lot of the white people celebrated. It works for white people when you do not celebrate your greatness because it shows them, that you do not know, your own strengths.

For as long as a people do not know their own strength, that people will remain defeated.

It goes without say that a people’s culture, creativity and way of life is that which makes them unique from another people.

If you are not celebrating your uniqueness then you have not begun living.

 

African people’s shame in their own African heritage is slowly but surely erasing the African narrative and black thought system. African people have a way of undermining themselves and thus teaching white people that they are superior.

 

Don’t be surprised when white people look down on you….when you have spent so much time looking up at them.

 

Who are YOU in relation to the person you see when you look in the mirror?

The only reason a child would not want to be of their own people….if their own people bring them shame.

 

The National Panty Debate

As we turn on each other, patriarchy continues to stand. The national #PantyDebate has led us women to start bickering amongst each other instead of focusing on the real enemy.

What do we mean when we say ‘Patriarchy?’

We mean that system where men are considered first, for everything.

Men have held economic, religious and social power for many centuries. We women have been programmed to submit to men…and to attack any woman who is unwilling to submit to these rules of engagement.

Men still hold economic power. This means that they occupy the positions with the most income in society. This status quo can lead to various ‘ugly’ situations which we see play out in our community.

We, women, need money too.

If men hold economic power, it means they can use women’s sexuality for their own gain in the work place.

In an effort to get to the ‘top’ women may be put in compromised positions.

What also often happens is, if there are not enough women in the boardroom, then the men side with each other.

When Men hold economic power it makes women vulnerable. As a woman, you may have the talent and skill as any man, however, you will not have equal access to jobs unless you have a man beside you (usually in your bed) or speaking on your behalf.

This is unfair. Men do not have to use their sexuality to advance their careers…why should we?

This is not to say all women at the ‘top’ slept their way there…but I am saying that the female demographic of this country is not represented at top level in any ‘male dominated’ industry.

Men still hold religious power. We have handed over the power of our spirituality to men in most cases. Female religious/spiritual leaders are not at the helm of our country. Constantly we are inundated with stories in the media about fake pastors, who take advantage of our people and yet, we continue to neglect the female divine energy. We as African people hold our mothers in such high regard, but fail to see the God energy in her.

Religion is a form of power and control. If our religious leaders are mostly men….then Men become our God.

Men still hold power in the home. Despite the fact that we now contribute to the home income, we are still expected to cook for the family after a long day at work. Domestic issues still fall heavily on us as we are seen as ‘not woman‘ enough, when we do not comply to these stereotypes.

Women in the home are always serving their men. We are brought up and socialised to serve. It is no wonder we struggle with absent fathers. We have taught our men that raising children is our job.

We give men permission to cheat on us and we live in a society which vilifies it when we cheat on them.

We stay in dysfunctional relationships because we are afraid to claim our power.

Because we are always on the back end, we are suffering and we are bitter…and we take it out on each other.

We need to make a commitment to ourselves and even to the women we don’t particularly like. We need each other right now. We can’t afford to be bickering when we are not represented in leadership.

We are wasting all this powerful energy on fighting each other…..when we should be claiming our rightful positions at the top.

To Collen Maine

To Collen Maine

 

Initially I was shocked and disturbed by your recent comments about me. However, after much thought, I am amused by you and your style of leadership, or rather, lack thereof.

 

You have barely been in office 2 weeks and already poop is coming out your mouth. Lol.

 

A simile is a figure of speech in which two things are compared using the words ‘like’ or ‘as.’

My tweets which you misquoted from tabloids…yes, you quoted TABLOIDS. That’s how smart you are. You didn’t come to my twitter account or blog.

 

My tweet said ‘ANC sees women AS panties.’

 

This, my good man, is a simile.

 

Not only that, but it is based on the ANCYL pictures circulating, where you have young women in ANCYL panties.

Whose children are these that you have so grossly violated? Whose daughters are these whose buttocks you parade to promote your ANC?

Your organisation has denied women the right to human dignity and equality.

Do you have men in ANC underwear parading around your events too? So why is it ok, to do that to women? This is nothing less than DISGUSTING.

 

Now let us address your response to me.

 

‘Perhaps this greasy panty called Ntsiki needs to be reminded that historically the ANC has been on the forefront of the struggle to liberate women.’

 

What absolute rubbish.

 

Yours is not a comparison. You have labelled me a panty, in an effort to attack my sexuality. Legally, your comments are prosecutable.

 

And since WHEN was ANC in the forefront of women liberation?

 

First of all, your response does not speak to women’s liberation. Your response is about destroying a woman. Is that a new version of women’s liberation?

I am sure it’s the same women’s liberation that had your women’s league silent at you spewing such bile. Is it the kind of women’s lib which silences women and sexualises female bodies?

Your women’s liberation has ONE woman in the top five of your league. Ha ha ha.

Your women’s liberation has young ladies in panties.

Your women’s liberation, in 100yr of ANC has never seen a female president.

Your women’s liberation never honoured Winnie Mandela.

Your women’s liberation calls women ‘greasy panties’

 

Your women’s liberation can kiss my ass.

 

We don’t know you Maine. You have NEVER been a voice for the youth. It was a surprise when we learnt that you were the new league president. I think some of us may have even looked forward to hearing your voice and ideologies. Based on your speech……you are an empty shell. You failed to respond with the dignity, respect and humility of a true leader. Your response was a cheap shot and it cheapened you.

 

All we know about you is that you crossed over to COPE and went back to ANC to be rewarded with an MEC post. I’ll tell you now…for free… that alone looks VERY STRANGE. It smells of a political rat. Also, are you not turning 35 soon? Interesting because your constitution says youth ends at 35. Are you going to finish your term as an uncle in the youth league? AGAIN, we smell a rat.

 

Anyways, these are just a few things you got me thinking about. I must say…..the youth league’s future looks bleak.

 

It’s evident that you’re not a leader… you’re just dirt off my shoulders.

To ALL the women in ANC

To ALL the women in the ANC….

Contrary to popular belief…NOW I am addressing you ALL.

I am not going to waste our time by defending my tweets.

I think those of us who have unpacked them know deep in their hearts that the attack was on the patriarchal system we are all being suppressed by.

You, however ladies, are in a position that can truly change things for us…for our whole generation and generations to come.

Women have been at the back end of things for hundreds of years politically, religiously, economically and in the home. You women are part of an evolving organisation which is leading South Africa at a very special time in our history.

If your voices are not heard then ALL the women’s voices in this country are not heard.

How was it ok with you that in the new structure of the ANCYL top five, women only have 20% representation?

Yes, I hear you, your NEC body has equal representation you say….but if that is the case, how come that is not reflected at the top?

Are you there just to make up the quotas and deputy positions….but when it comes to the top positions you are not eligible? Why are you ok with this?

When statistics are released, it is always said that there are more women than men. If that is the case, how come the majority of the country is being led by a minority? Why are men speaking on our behalf? Do we not have our own voices?

The brandishing of your underwear when you are toyi toying. What does that achieve accept lower the dignity of us women? We have also noticed that you are quite selective in which gender cases you choose take up. Not to mention the pictures of young women in ANC panties on social networks at official events.

What I think has not been left unsaid is…..you have not created a good image of yourselves. This is an unfortunate and brutal truth.

You are leaders there is a certain manner in which you must conduct yourselves. You are not in the entertainment industry.

This could all change if you took yourselves seriously and took your rightful places in the positions you SHOULD be occupying. We need to create a society where we will all have equal access to the same opportunities as men.

The ONLY reason we backstab and get jealous of each other is because we are fighting each other for crumbs.

I have just opened up an uncomfortable can of worms…why don’t you take the opportunity grab the platform you want.

A call from the people has come to you asking which women can take the lead and all you want to do is focus on HOW I put my message across?

Zimbokokdo…….make your move. Dismantle patriarchy and LEAD