As we turn on each other, patriarchy continues to stand. The national #PantyDebate has led us women to start bickering amongst each other instead of focusing on the real enemy.
What do we mean when we say ‘Patriarchy?’
We mean that system where men are considered first, for everything.
Men have held economic, religious and social power for many centuries. We women have been programmed to submit to men…and to attack any woman who is unwilling to submit to these rules of engagement.
Men still hold economic power. This means that they occupy the positions with the most income in society. This status quo can lead to various ‘ugly’ situations which we see play out in our community.
We, women, need money too.
If men hold economic power, it means they can use women’s sexuality for their own gain in the work place.
In an effort to get to the ‘top’ women may be put in compromised positions.
What also often happens is, if there are not enough women in the boardroom, then the men side with each other.
When Men hold economic power it makes women vulnerable. As a woman, you may have the talent and skill as any man, however, you will not have equal access to jobs unless you have a man beside you (usually in your bed) or speaking on your behalf.
This is unfair. Men do not have to use their sexuality to advance their careers…why should we?
This is not to say all women at the ‘top’ slept their way there…but I am saying that the female demographic of this country is not represented at top level in any ‘male dominated’ industry.
Men still hold religious power. We have handed over the power of our spirituality to men in most cases. Female religious/spiritual leaders are not at the helm of our country. Constantly we are inundated with stories in the media about fake pastors, who take advantage of our people and yet, we continue to neglect the female divine energy. We as African people hold our mothers in such high regard, but fail to see the God energy in her.
Religion is a form of power and control. If our religious leaders are mostly men….then Men become our God.
Men still hold power in the home. Despite the fact that we now contribute to the home income, we are still expected to cook for the family after a long day at work. Domestic issues still fall heavily on us as we are seen as ‘not woman‘ enough, when we do not comply to these stereotypes.
Women in the home are always serving their men. We are brought up and socialised to serve. It is no wonder we struggle with absent fathers. We have taught our men that raising children is our job.
We give men permission to cheat on us and we live in a society which vilifies it when we cheat on them.
We stay in dysfunctional relationships because we are afraid to claim our power.
Because we are always on the back end, we are suffering and we are bitter…and we take it out on each other.
We need to make a commitment to ourselves and even to the women we don’t particularly like. We need each other right now. We can’t afford to be bickering when we are not represented in leadership.
We are wasting all this powerful energy on fighting each other…..when we should be claiming our rightful positions at the top.