I need to get one thing clear…I am not one of those women who will protect a man’s sins. I am one of those women that will name and shame you.
It is often said that to protect our children, we should not show our anger towards their absent fathers. How exactly does this protect them? When all it does is enable this man to continue with his absenteeism?
Unlike all you ‘mature’ people….I believe he should be held accountable for his actions.
Patriarchy is a wonderful thing in that we are all socialised in a way that teaches us to protect men…even when they are wrong. When men behave badly we have been taught to keep quiet, whereas when women do the same, they are followed by a slew of insults.
Children need their mothers….and fathers. Unless a woman chooses to go to a fertility clinic, then she does not deserve a sperm donor.
These sperm donors who don’t father their seeds are a problem. They contribute to our broken family units. They contribute to children’s depression and self worth issues. It is not that you cannot raise a healthy child alone, but every human being is made by a mom and a dad.
Instead we vilify women for having these children as if they had sex with themselves. Not only that but they are then burdened with raising a child alone. Raising a child is no small issue. It is MUCH more than papgeld. Raising your own child is the measure for being an evolved human being, who takes responsibility. Being a real father is the difference between being a man and a boy.
Besides the children whose hearts get broken by this insensitive rejection, the family of that child is most affected. The family has to find answers to questions that cut deep. I for one am shattered when my niece ask,
‘Why doesn’t daddy love me?’
This question does not hurt him…it hurts the people raising the child.
I am also tired of seeing my sibling, suffer in silence while she carries his load. No woman deserves this. No woman deserves to take ALL the responsibility for two people making love. Everybody who was present at conception must be present for the raising.
What kind of society do we live in where men will drop babies that they made? Have you not noticed how Father’s Day has bitterly transformed to a second Mother’s Day? Do men find pride in that? Do men think it is ok for them to cause so much pain and damage emotionally?
I will no longer be silenced by absent fathers. We women are responsible for teaching men how to treat us. If our pain in whispered to avoid humiliating a man, then there is a problem. You can’t fix a problem unless you call it out.
Yes….I have a problem with absent fathers completely disregarding their children, and making them feel like it was their fault that they was born. I’m tired of seeing the grown ups in the situation silently enabling a process which is tearing children apart emotionally. Why should they have to be strong, instead of us looking towards their fathers to MAN UP. There should be no doubt in children’s head that this is bullshit and they deserve better.
And for the record…this is not the mom’s load alone. I speak for every aunt, uncle and grandparent who has had to step in to help raise the child of a man-boy. I was made a parent at 20. I was excited to be an aunt but I never expected that I would have to play daddy.
It is not ok with me when I see a man ignore his child while he pretends to be a family man….it is not ok with me AT ALL.